Archive for the ‘Music/Movies/Television’ Category

Excuse me, Doctor, but who are you and what is this control that you hold over me?

I’ve always thought, at least in public, that I have pretty good taste in music. I’m not saying I listen to obscure bands just to reference them, but, at the same time, I never miss out on cracking a good Nicklback joke. I read music journalism, have an extensive iTunes library and respect my elders. You get the idea. So, in continuing this same train of thought, why did I spend all of last week listening to Katy Perry’s new single Teenage Dream? I don’t listen to Top 40 radio. I don’t like Katy Perry. And talk about misleading lyrics. Her jeans aren’t that skintight (NSFW). I literally listened to that goddamn song like 14 times in a row one day. WTF you’re thinking. WTF is what I was thinking too (we’re so alike). Gang, it was research time.

Research time lead me to the dude up top. His name is Dr. Luke (not his Christian name), and apparently he has a PhD in making me lose my mind.

Dr Luke is an American songwriter, producer and remixer. Born Lucasz (why the z?) Gottwald to a solid upper-Jewish-middle-class-Rhode Island family, the Lukemeister taught himself guitar, dealt the dope (but just to other dealers), and was the Saturday Night Live house band’s lead axe man for 10 seasons. No shit. The Doc then got all up in NYC’s underground hip hop scene, working with cool artists like Mos Def, Black Star, KRS-One and Rage’s Zach de la Rocha. Respect right? Eventually he became bored with being a bad ass and started producing monster, MONSTER hits. And he’s doing okay.

Doc Lucaz is behind:

•    Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone” “Behind These Hazel Eyes”, and “My Life Would Suck Without You”
•    Pink’s “Who Knew” and “U + Ur Hand”
•    Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend”
•    Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”, “Hot n Cold”, “California Gurls”, and “Teenage Dream”
•    Britney Spears’ “Circus”
•    Flo Rida’s “Right Round”
•    Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the U.S.A.”
•    Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”
•    Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite”
Among others. See where this is going?
Because normally I wouldn’t give two, maybe even three shits about such a dude. But. But but but but. Remember how I found myself stuck on Teenage Dream? Well I can only think of two other songs that I similarly attached myself to. Since U Been Gone and Party in the U.S.A. Didn’t like the artists, didn’t like the genre, and didn’t get these fucking songs out of my head.

Dude scares me, making me love stuff I hate. He’s dangerous all right? I mean, Tea Party schmea party, Luke Luke could hoard like four or five crack addictive tracks, run for office, start dropping them on the public and I’d be humming that shit aall the way to the voting booth. Obama, you reading this? Well if you are, although I’m glad you’re not, I’d recommend getting Docca Docca to help you get your groove back. Have him write the slamming campaign theme that Will.I.Am wanted to write and put that mutha on REPEAT. It’ll stick. Don’t I know. You think I like admitting I love a Miley Cyrus song? If you are over the age of 15 and/or have a Y chromosome you do not like admitting it.

So seriously, Dr. Luke, really, who are you and what is this control that you hold over me?


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I used to absolutely LOVE music videos. Loved them. Watched TRL, MTV2, MuchMusic (later known as Fuse, I think), even VH1. And now I never watch them and couldn’t care less. I don’t know why either. Maybe they lost their allure when they all became instantly available on the internet. Maybe it’s because I stopped watching any music television. Maybe I’m just a soggy old lurmp. Whatever, I just don’t do it. BUT! A week or two ago I was on stumbleupon and I stumbled upon (see how that works) a new video by MIA. Now, I know, Paper Planes was the shit and all, but some of her other stuff was a little too wacky. But her new video was apparently like 10 minutes long, had nudity and violence, and was banned from youtube for a bit (it’s up again now). So I watched it, and BAM! I love music videos again.

Check it (oh and this is NSFW, unless you have your some privacy or a freaky-ass job):

See what I’m saying? That shit is WILD! I mean, that’s a pretty powerful video to put out there. It’s like the complete opposite of dumb party videos that get mondo play. And it got be thinking about some of the other videos that I really, really loved and hadn’t watched in years.

The first music video I remember really intriguing me was Rabbit In Your Headlight by UNKLE. Moby had a little show on MTV2 when I was a kid and although he mostly played godawful international house music, one time he closed the show with this video:

Cool right? I remember the climax sending chills through me. It still does.

The last video I’ll share with you is Paranoid Android by Radiohead. The only thing I’ll say about it is once when I tried to describe it to someone they repeatedly accused me of making it up as I went along, and said something to the effect of “Well if you’re not making all this up that sounds like the most preposterous, ridiculous, outrageous sequence of events anyone could ever dream up!”. Agreed.

So now I’m back on the wagon (or off the wagon? never understood that phrase) and it feels oh-so-good. If anyone has a video they really like shoot me a link and I’ll post the best ones later in the week.

Thanks for reading (and watching)!

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