Archive for May, 2010

So you think you’re pretty smart do you? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Punk. Well let me tell you about another guy that thought he was pretty smart. His name was Albert Einstein, and he put together a little puzzle for you all you wannabes out there. A puzzle that legend has it can only be solved by 2% of the human population. Now, if I were a betting man, I’d question that legend, because I solved the puzzle (45 minutes suckas), and I write a blog about goofy shit. However, if you feel like you’re balls enough to go for the glory, grab a pencil and some paper and prepare to get yo frustration on.

Einstein’s Logic Problem:


1: There are 5 houses in 5 different colors.
2: In each house lives a person with a different nationality.
3: These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
4: No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same drink.

From the following information, can you determine WHO KEEPS FISH?

1: The Brit lives in a red house.
2: The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3: The Dane drinks tea.
4: The green house is on the left of the white house.
5: The green house owner drinks coffee.
6: The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7: The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8: The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
9: The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10: The man who smokes Blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11: The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12: The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13: The German smokes Prince.
14: The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15: The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

OK – When you’re ready, here is the answer. Let me know how you did!


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I used to absolutely LOVE music videos. Loved them. Watched TRL, MTV2, MuchMusic (later known as Fuse, I think), even VH1. And now I never watch them and couldn’t care less. I don’t know why either. Maybe they lost their allure when they all became instantly available on the internet. Maybe it’s because I stopped watching any music television. Maybe I’m just a soggy old lurmp. Whatever, I just don’t do it. BUT! A week or two ago I was on stumbleupon and I stumbled upon (see how that works) a new video by MIA. Now, I know, Paper Planes was the shit and all, but some of her other stuff was a little too wacky. But her new video was apparently like 10 minutes long, had nudity and violence, and was banned from youtube for a bit (it’s up again now). So I watched it, and BAM! I love music videos again.

Check it (oh and this is NSFW, unless you have your some privacy or a freaky-ass job):

See what I’m saying? That shit is WILD! I mean, that’s a pretty powerful video to put out there. It’s like the complete opposite of dumb party videos that get mondo play. And it got be thinking about some of the other videos that I really, really loved and hadn’t watched in years.

The first music video I remember really intriguing me was Rabbit In Your Headlight by UNKLE. Moby had a little show on MTV2 when I was a kid and although he mostly played godawful international house music, one time he closed the show with this video:

Cool right? I remember the climax sending chills through me. It still does.

The last video I’ll share with you is Paranoid Android by Radiohead. The only thing I’ll say about it is once when I tried to describe it to someone they repeatedly accused me of making it up as I went along, and said something to the effect of “Well if you’re not making all this up that sounds like the most preposterous, ridiculous, outrageous sequence of events anyone could ever dream up!”. Agreed.

So now I’m back on the wagon (or off the wagon? never understood that phrase) and it feels oh-so-good. If anyone has a video they really like shoot me a link and I’ll post the best ones later in the week.

Thanks for reading (and watching)!

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On May 21st, Rep. Alan Grayson (FL-8) introduced bill H.R.5353, “The War Is Making You Poor Act”. And it’s an important bill. Created in response to the $159,000,000,000 requested in next year’s budget to spend on our wars in the Middle East, this bipartisan legislation would take that extra money and give it back to you and I.

In my opinion, Grayson is a pretty cool dude. He’s from the Bronx (cool). He worked his way through Harvard as a janitor and night watchman (cool). He’s smart too (not cool…just kidding…but seriously), graduating from Harvard summa cum laude in three years, and then in four years earning a law degree from Harvard Law, a masters in public policy from the JFK School of Government and completing the course work and passing the general exams for a Ph.D. in government. He was even a cool lawyer (if such a thing is possible). In 2006, a Wall Street Journal reporter described Grayson as “waging a one-man war against contractor fraud in Iraq” and as a “fierce critic of the war in Iraq” whose car displayed bumper stickers such as “Bush lied, people died”. Cool. Oh, and he had the balls to introduce the Public Option Act, talk lots of shit to Republicans, vote for various civil rights bills, and otherwise take crap from no one. Cool. And with this latest bill, Rep. Grayson keeps the ass kicking coming.

Grayson’s bill, which is currently being co-sponsored by Reps. Ron Paul (R-TX), Walter Jones (R-NC), Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) Barbara Lee (D-CA), John Conyers (D-MI), and Lynn Woolsey (D-CA), does three things.

1. It eliminates separate funding for the occupation of Irag and Afghanistan.

2. It eliminates federal income taxes for everyone’s first $35,000 of income (which a third of the country would qualify for).

3. It pays down the national debt by $15.9 billion.

GRAYSON: So I believe that the thing we need to do is to take that $159 billion that the President has set aside – we’re not saying he has to stop the war, we’re not giving a cut-off date for the war – we’re simply saying you need to fund that out of the base budget of $549 billion. And we take 90 percent of that and give it back to the American people.

With the country’s current obsession over the size and scope of government, it’s absolutely ridiculous that no one talks about how much we spend on our military. We spend as much as the rest of the world combined, and most of the other big spenders are our allies. Worried about the national debt and the economic crisis? Yeah, me too. Maybe we should talk about the role the trillions of dollars we’ve sunk into Iraq and Afghanistan have played in these issues.

If you like what you’re seeing, here’s a petition that you can sign to show your support. Hell, tell your friends too. And as always, thanks for reading.

Sources: Huffington Post, Wikipedia

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Religion is complicated. I’ve never been a particularly religious person. Like lots of people, I’ve always struggled to find the strength and courage to put my faith in that which will always be unknowable. Someday I will post my own manifesto on religion, but not today. Instead, I would like to give a shout-out to an institution that has constantly brought me back from the edge of atheism. It is the church I was brought up in, and I am honored to share it with you.

All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, OK is one of those rare institutions that I really believe in. I know it’s cheesy, but it is truly a place of love, tolerance, and inclusiveness. In a time when more and more people are moving away from institutionalized religion, and often for very legitimate reasons, All Souls is a shining beacon for what, in my opinion, religion should be.

I rarely attend services there, but like most God-fearing Americans, I was present for the Easter Sunday service. I’ll admit, the night before I was still conflicted over whether or not I would go or just sleep in. I thought, I’ve been to Easter service, and like Christmas Eve service, if you’ve been to one you’ve been to them all. Blah blah blah resurrection blah blah Amen. Luckily, my better half gave me the ol’ kick in the butt and told me to suck it up and go. So I went (thanks Sweetie), and it was beautiful. It was as if they knew what I felt and tailored the service specifically for me. I know everyone is super busy right now, but if you can spare 17 minutes please listen to the service so you can appreciate what I’m talking about.

Listen here.

Religion does not have to be what we see in the media everyday. It doesn’t need to be some man saying “Believe what I believe or you’ll be punished”. It needs to be something that makes you feel good and makes you want to be a better person. All Souls says that all souls eventually make it to heaven, and to all those that think this is foolish, you’re missing the point. I mean, think about how petty it sounds to say that people not like you should be subjected to eternal damnation. The point is, at least from my limited perspective, that if you can look for the good in everyone, if you can love your neighbor like you love yourself, and if you can achieve a peace in your own life and be a light of happiness shining unto the world, than it really doesn’t matter what you believe in.

I love you all, and thank you for reading.

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I gotta tell ya friends, this blogging business is tough. I thought I’d drop a couple tasty posts and boom, I’m snorting caviar off Arianna Huffington’s smooth-ass frown lines. But after trying it for a while, I slowly realized
1.    People, even especially rich people, don’t snort caviar like they used to (makes you miss the 90’s doesn’t it?)
2.    Blogging, like most things in life (except the lottery), gives back what you put in

And I haven’t been putting much in. I’ll admit, before I became an internationally accredited blogger, I read Blogging for Dummies. And in this little gem of a turd-burgler’n-book, I remember highlighting (sorry Norman Public Library) the topic of “quantity over quality”. To paraphrase, the book claimed that with regards to blogging, quantity trumps quality most of the time.
Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “That’s straight baloney. Why eat caviar every day when you can snort it Sunday and only Sunday, and achieve the pinnacle of pretentiousness?!”. Well, dummy, it just don’t work that way. I let lose with some quality posts right off the bat (emphasis on posts), and I couldn’t handle the pressure. You don’t serve a plate of graham crackers after the filet mignon, no matter how hungry the guests still are. But if you only have one man working the restaurant, sometimes you don’t have much choice. And I’ve come to terms with this fact. Eff quality. From now on, I’m operating a CC’s Pizza (or Feces Pizza as my better half affectionately refers to it). Come in, eat as much as you want, and leave feeling satisfied and somewhat gassy. That’s what I want the blog to be. So for all you folks that want to snort caviar all the time, Get Real! You’re living in the past man! Come to genwhen and fill up on carbs. I’m not judging. And get ready for a blog that, if nothing else, will be consistently filling. To show that I’m not joking about quantity over quality (as if this post wasn’t proof enough), click this link and enjoy the sort of daily special served up by yours truly. Happy grazing, and I guarantee I’ll see you tomorrow.
And as always, thanks for reading.

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