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Archive for March, 2010

Something to Ponder

I happen to possess a three-ring binder. It’s not a very nice binder, at least not aesthetically (personality-wise it’s charming, to say the least), but there are nice things inside of it. I tend to dick around a lot on the internet, hell I even have a blog, and in this dicking around I occasionally come across cool things. I print out these things and I place them in my binder. And this binder has lots of dumb stuff in it; I mean lots of dumb stuff. But every time I open it up, I read the very first entry, the entry that inspired me to start the binder because there are some things you just can’t cast aside. It is an entry that I think everyone should be exposed to, so I’ll share it with you.

Something to ponder

If you woke you this morning with more health than illness, you are more

blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of

imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are

ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest,

torture, or death, you are more blessed than

three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead,

and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish

someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If your parents are alive and married, you are very rare.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful,

you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder,

you are blessed because you can offer a healing touch

If you can read this message you’ve just received a double blessing in that

someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over

two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and pass this along to remind

everyone else how blessed we all are.

There is this massive undercurrent of cynicism rambling through our current existence, and it’s present every time you turn on the news, or visit your websites, or talk current events with your peers. We all tend to revel in how shitty everything is. We bitch and bitch and bitch about everything: politics, religions, work, personal relationships, family drama, money, and my personal reason for starting this blog, boredom. Do you know what a luxury it is to be able to be bored? It means all of my big problems are so taken care of that I get to focus all of my energy on things that after reading that list seem wholly insignificant and selfish. And we should all be so lucky.

Please, after reading this post, count your blessings. Don’t stress about the possible repercussions of passing or not passing health care or whatever is in vogue. Think about how good we all have it before demonizing anyone and anything that doesn’t agree with you. Because we all have problems, and problems admittedly really suck. I don’t mean to say that we shouldn’t concern ourselves with the world around us, but you can’t let yourself be defined by what worries you. If we’re able to step back and contemplate how fantastic things are for us, right now, in what’s supposedly the most perilous time we’ll ever see, versus how much worse they are right now for billions of people, we’ll see that yes, we are truly blessed. If you’re not happy now, will you ever really ever be happy? Embrace what you can control, don’t worry about what you can’t, and never forget that we live in the most comfortable time and place in the history of human existence.

Thank for reading, and have a wonderful day.

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Anyone else fretting that they never really read the bible? Well I wasn’t either. I mean, I like the bible, for God’s sake it’s the “good” book and I’m certainly familiar with it. I have a nice copy. But I’ve never made a big effort to read the thing. So when I came across a free bible on CD I snatched it up. It’s titled “You’ve got the time”, and the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship (nice people I assume) put it out. Basically it’s the New Testament, and by breaking it into 28 minutes a day, you too can read (listen to) the gospel of Jesus in 40 days. I have about a 14-minute commute to work every day, so it seemed divinely ordained. I’m taking the challenge!

Day 1: Hop in my car, first making sure there aren’t any sweet classic rock songs on (Satan is the ultimate temptress). After deducing out that stations don’t play music during the morning commute (divine intervention?), I pop the disc in. Initial response? Well, it’s an Mp3 disc, so it doesn’t play in my car’s CD player. No one said this was going to be easy, but a man can assume.

After prepping myself for a little Matthew, I’m kind of conflicted about going back to morning DJ ramblings. 5 minutes of inner monologue later I’m super pumped to hear Foreigner. This might be harder than I thought.

At work I rip the CD to my computer and burn Mathew to 2 CDs. I also calculate that 28 minutes times 40 days equals 1,120 minutes. Hmmm…That’s a lot of Foreigner I’m missing.

Nevertheless, when I get off work I’m looking forward to hearing the good word. The disc works, and so it begins:

Matthew 1
The Genealogy of Jesus
1A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of Abraham:
2Abraham was the father of Isaac,
Isaac the father of Jacob,
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,
3Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
Perez the father of Hezron,
Hezron the father of Ram,
4Ram the father of Amminadab,
Amminadab the father of Nahshon,
Nahshon the father of Salmon,
5Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,
Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,
Obed the father of Jesse,
6and Jesse the father of King David.
David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,
7Solomon the father of Rehoboam,
Rehoboam the father of Abijah,
Abijah the father of Asa,
8Asa the father of Jehoshaphat,
Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram,
Jehoram the father of Uzziah,
9Uzziah the father of Jotham,
Jotham the father of Ahaz,
Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,
10Hezekiah the father of Manasseh,
Manasseh the father of Amon,
Amon the father of Josiah,
11and Josiah the father of Jeconiah[a] and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon.
12After the exile to Babylon:
Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel,
Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,
13Zerubbabel the father of Abiud,
Abiud the father of Eliakim,
Eliakim the father of Azor,
14Azor the father of Zadok,
Zadok the father of Akim,
Akim the father of Eliud,
15Eliud the father of Eleazar,
Eleazar the father of Matthan,
Matthan the father of Jacob,
16and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

Jesus! At this point I’m almost home so I go back to classic rock for the remainder of the drive. I’ll admit, I don’t feel particularly closer to enlightenment, but definitely not further away. Chock this one up in the win column!

The voice acting was decent, but the sound effects were a little excessive. Overall, I think it was a fantastic first day and I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s sermon. I’ll keep you posted.


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Old School

Click Me

Found the picture here

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Let me pose a question. I’ll be honest here, because after all, I’m basically writing for myself, but did anyone else come to the realization these past couple weeks that the Winter Olympics pretty much suck? I mean seriously, I don’t have cable, I’ve got the ol’ basics, and I was kind of excited that there would consistently be something I could watch for 2 weeks. Wrong. WRONG! I mean damn, all the skiing? Lame. Bobsled, luge, skeleton, etc.? Lame (and this despite the fact that it was so extreme someone died). Hockey? Well, we witnessed what has been called the greatest hockey game (match?) of all time, to which I reply “Yeah but…it still sort of sucked”. Sorry. Figure skating? Nope. Curling? For God’s sake just scroll down.

For something was a’brewing under the surface. Something that could bring the Olympics back from the brink. Right when I was ready to give up on the winter games, a headline caught my eye that made it all right.

Vancouver medals in condom distribution

And the crowd goes wild! I mean, listen to this:

“The medals have been presented, the caldron extinguished and the crowds dispersed, but there’s one record from the 2010 Vancouver Olympics that may have been overlooked: Most condoms distributed at a Winter Games”.

Boo-ya-ka-sha. Apparently health agencies distributed around 100,00 condoms, and still had to get an emergency shipment in of 8,500. That’s 108,500 rubs. And I thought cold weather was somewhat of a deterrent. Apparently there was enough sex pumping through these games to warrant quotes like these:

the word on the public health street is that Vancouver is king of the prophylactic winter rings.

King of the prophylactic winter rings? Pure poetry. So I salute the winter Olympics (not in the dirty way ya’ bastards) for bringing the passion back to the Olympics. And yeah, the actual competitions might have been sort of lame, but if there was ever a time for “World-Class Athletes go Wild!” we are all witnesses.

In closing, thank you winter Olympics, for once again renewing my belief that no matter how bad the weather, or the state of the world, or the bars in the Olympic village, we all can still love one another. And if that’s not the proper message to take away from the Olympics I don’t know what is.

Apollo went through 6 condoms just for this photo shoot. The winter games were hot I tell you. HOT!

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